tuque /tūk/ n Canadian English, var. toque [19th c. Canadian French, from the French toque, from the Basque tauka] 1 A close-fitting knitted cap, often with a long tapering end or tassel or pompom. 2 fig Something quintessentially Canadian.
souq /sūk/ n from the Arabic سوق var. souk 1 An open-air marketplace. 2 fig A central meeting place for the circulation of news and ideas.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Palestine launches Intifada against Guinness Records book

Frustrated by yet another roadblock on their 61-year journey for statehood, Palestine has declared a new Intifada--on the Guinness Book of World Records.

Recently a Palestinian baker from the West Bank city of Nablus set a world record for the largest knafeh ever made: 1350 kilos and 150 square meters of sweet, cheesy, pistachioed goodness. (Despite the testimony of Israeli settlers, it seems that this knafeh was not intended to be their housewarming gift.)

And a blind Ramallah civil servant named Mohamed Hashem is believed to hold the world record for most telephone numbers memorized: 80,000 phone numbers. (Since Ramallah only has a population of 30,000, we can assume that the rest of the phone numbers Mr. Hashem has committed to memory are of the 50,000 Israeli settlers who live within shouting distance of his house.)

With the surge in national pride owing to these record-breaking achievements, the Palestinian Ministry of Ambiguous Bureaucracy has announced a new campaign to verify other Palestinian-held world records, including:
In related news, Israel's Ministry of Random Acts of Oppression announced a ban on all sales of the Guinness Book of World Records in the Palestinian territories.

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