tuque /tūk/ n Canadian English, var. toque [19th c. Canadian French, from the French toque, from the Basque tauka] 1 A close-fitting knitted cap, often with a long tapering end or tassel or pompom. 2 fig Something quintessentially Canadian.
souq /sūk/ n from the Arabic سوق var. souk 1 An open-air marketplace. 2 fig A central meeting place for the circulation of news and ideas.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Stephen Harper stung by Qaddafi snub

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is reportedly "bummed out" and "really freakin' cheesed" at not receiving an invitation to Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi's 40th anniversary party last week in Tripoli.

To celebrate the fortieth birthday of his own revolution Qaddafi feted himself with a multi-million-dollar soiree, which featured hundreds of dancers, fireworks, acrobatic airplanes, mock hangings, and a so-called Gallery of Grotesques.

Among the invitees who RSVP'd an enthusiastic 'Yes' were such luminaries as Zimbabwean ne'er-do-well Robert Mugabe, the indicted-for-genocide Sudanese president Omar al-Bashir, Somali Pirate cartel bossman Mohamed Abdi Afweyne, and Venezuealan leader Hugo Chavez who was spotted gettin' jiggy with something on the VIP stage.

According to a source in the vicinity of 24 Sussex Drive, Mr. Harper was especially looking forward to a ride in Qaddafi's famed Rocket Car, which the Libyan dictator gave himself as a gift on his 30th anniversary back in 1999 and whose mass production was supposed to transform Libya into the supersonic-automobile powerhouse of the world. (Unconfirmed reports noted there were at least a dozen pre-orders from Wayne Enterprises.)

According to the Government of Canada's website, Canadian-Libyan relations are pretty much at an all-time high. Canada imports almost $16,000 worth of Libyan products each year, which makes up 0.000015% of Libya's GDP. Canada's current foreign direct investment in Libya is described as a whopping "n/a".

With all this goodwill and free-wheeling spending, Mr. Harper was positive he'd receive an invitation to Qaddafi's big show. Some political insiders are already suspecting domestic political sabotage, including but not limited to Michael Ignatieff impersonating Stephen Harper at the post office, Michael Ignatieff impersonating Muammar Qaddafi and making prank phone calls uninviting the prime minister, and Michael Ignatieff impersonating Hugo Chavez and dancing all over Qaddafi's stage.

In related news, Canada is gearing up for another election. Qaddafi hopes to be invited.


ashleyjoanwalters said...

Qaddafi ranks pretty high on the "entertaining" scale. I don't blame Harper for being bummed.

Anonymous said...

Wonder what'll happen when Harper and Qaddafi bump into each other at the UN assembly later this month? Will Harper "de-friend" Qaddafi on Facebook? Awkward!