Even TSN loves Nazem Kadri, as long as he's more Canadian than Muslim

Nazem Kadri, the Lebanese-Canadian hockey star, whose name loosely translates as Sublime One Who Submits to the Will of Fate, is on his way home to London (Ontario) with a silver medal around his neck, after Team Canada dropped the championship game in overtime to the Americans tonight at the World Juniors in Saskatchewan.

The debacle in the gold-medal game notwithstanding, the Canucks excelled on the ice and Kadri in particular shone with 3 goals, 3 assists, and 472 hits principally of the bone-crushing variety.

TSN's television coverage was predictably patriotic. They ran regular featurettes on Canada's stars, and it was finally Kadri's turn for a profile tonight. Naturally, TSN played up the immigrant angle. The clip of the piece can be found here.

At the outset, the narrator tells us that Nazem Kadri's father, Sam, was "four years old when civil war broke out, prompting the family to move to Canada in 1968." (Note to TSN fact-checking department: the Lebanese Civil War in fact began in 1975.)

Later, we learn that Sam's decision to encourage his son to play hockey met with disapproval from "some members of the Lebanese community." (Note to TSN editing department: Please locate some stock footage less stereotypical than Muslims praying in a mosque to depict "some members of the Lebanese community.")

And, at the end of the clip, Sam says of his talented son that "at the end of the day, he's just another Canadian kid doing what Canadians do." (Note to TSN producer: Please don't encourage the use of pallid idiomatic expressions. At the end of the day we're just fed up with that saying.)

TSN also treated us to footage of a trio of Arab-Canadian former hockey players. They left out at least one other part-Arab who is in the NHL right now. Justin Abdelkader, a second-round pick of the Detroit Red Wings in 2005, is a Michigander whose parternal grandfather hailed from Jordan. The 22-year-old left-winger has 3 goals and 3 assists in 38 games this season.

However, you wouldn't guess his pedigree from the way his name is spoken. Far from an Arabic pronunciation, CBC Hockey Night in Canada announcers pronounce Justin's last name as something close to abdicator. Telling? (To be fair, Justin's bleach-blond hair doesn't exactly make him look like King Abdullah.)

The fate of Nazem Kadri? Gordie Howe

Nazem Kadri, the Lebanese-Canadian hockey star, whose name very loosely translates as Sublime One Who Submits to the Will of Fate, is off to a superb start to the hockey season.

The first-round draft choice of the Tuque Souq's preferred hockey team, time-wasting wikipedia page, and joke butt--the Toronto Maple Leafs--is tearing up the ice down in London this OHL season, with 11 goals, 8 assists and 52 penalty minutes in just 19 games.

A whole whack of those stats came the other night in a 7-4 win over the Oshawa Generals, when Kadri racked up a Gordie Howe hat trick: a goal (and Kadri had 2 of those), an assist and a fight.

The fight came midway through the third period with the Knights well in control of the game. Oshawa forward Jeff Brown delivered a vicious back check to London's Jared Knight, attracting Kadri's attention.



In the replay, you can clearly see Brown, who's already been flagged for the penalty though the play has continued, bend down to see if Knight is okay. But Kadri flies over from the crease to knock Brown into the boards and instigate the fight with an uppercut. While it lasts only a few short moments, Brown delivers 4 quick blows to Kadri's face mask before the fight is broken up.

Apparently Nazem Kadri submits to the will of the penalty box very well; to the fate of his teammates being targets, not so well.

More recently, during an 8-2 thrashing of the Owen Sound Attack (though early in the game), Kadri drove Owen Sound winger Bobby Mignardi hard into the glass in the corner. Bruiser Michael McGurk followed Kadri to centre ice and started throwing punches, which Kadri happily reciprocated.



For Nazem Kadri, it was another Gordie Howe hat trick that night. When fate ordains that he finally put on a Leafs uniform in the NHL, the Tuque Souq votes they give him #9.*

* Yes, he played a few preseason games for the Leafs this year and they gave him the #43 sweater, not worn since Nathan Dempsey scored one whole goal in it during the 2000-2001 season. There's still time to switch him to #9. Sorry, Hagman.

Nazem Kadri, like Leafs fans, submits to fate

Guileless Toronto Maple Leafs fans will buy almost anything you're selling, including--and this is especially frustrating--tickets to see the Toronto Maple Leafs.

We are also prone to a seasonal recurrence of a delusion that a return to glory is just one more player away.

We've bought overhyped imports named Lindros, Peca, Kubina, O'Neill, Blake, Grabovsky and Andrew flippin' Raycroft, and held onto them well past their sell-by date.

We've believed in guys like Tucker, McCabe, Belak, Ponikarovsky, Wellwood, Antropov, and Toskala longer than Jesus would have.

Just recently we purchased a whopper of a tall tale that General Manager Brian Burke could harness the moon and trade it for John Tavares; so credulous are we that when Tavares morphed into a gimpy Phil Kessel we actually said, "John who?"

We're hopelessly optimistic and simultaneously predictably fatalistic. So, as shadows grow long with autumn's arrival indicating the return of hockey season, is this year any exception to Leaf Nation delusion?

LEBANONYMOUSLY TALENTED
All of those names on the Leafs' wall of recent shame share two things in common: None of them has laced up his skates for a playoff game at the ACC since the Lockout; and not one of them is Lebanese.

That was supposed to change this year. With their first-round pick at this summer's NHL draft, the Toronto Maple Leafs selected Nazem Kadri, a Lebanese-Canadian phenom from London, Ontario (whose photograph, apparently, the Leafs' web editor hasn't found yet).

Kadri is coming off back-to-back 25-goal seasons for the Kitchener Rangers and the London Knights (where he teamed with John Tavares) of the OHL. He turns 19 next week. He's hyped to be an explosive skater who plays with a hard edge.

Leafs fans will buy anything. A screen door for a submarine? We'll take two. The Brooklyn Bridge? Just set it over there next to Kaberle. An explosive Lebanese hockey player. Oh geez, why not?

But little did we know that the never-before-tried combination of Canadian hockey prowess and Lebanese, well, something or other, would produce such jaw-dropping results. Over the past few weeks Nazem Kadri has had Leafs fans partying like it's 1967.

At his peak, Kadri willed the team to a preseason victory over the Stanley-Cup-laden Pittsburgh Penguins; he scored the tying goal in the waning moments of regulation and the winner in the shootout.



The Leafs wasted no time in inking him to a three-year entry-level contract. Then, they promptly put him on a bus back to London. Thanks for packing in the preseason fans, now go enjoy more of the OHL.

WHY? BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN, THAT'S WHY

It was fate that Kadri should tantalize us with his talents for a few weeks and then be banished for another year in the junior leagues. No really, even his last name [ قدرى ] derives from the Arabic meaning "one who submits to the will of fate."

The Arabic of his first name [ ناظم ] originally meant a kind of classical Arabic versifier or poet; a man who transformed the ho-hum into the sublime.

Sigh, go the Leafs fans. At least one more year of cheering for mediocrity... and the London Knights!

And on that note, here is the Tuque Souq's fearless 37-second NHL preview:

EASTERN CONFERENCE: 1-Bruins; 2-Penguins; 3-Caps; 4-Flyers; 5-Canes; 6-Senators; 7-Lightning; 8-Habs; 9-Devils; 10-Panthers; 11-Sabres; 12-Rangers; 13-Thrashers; 14-Leafs; 15-Islanders.

CONFERENCE TITLE: B's over Caps in 7.

WESTERN CONFERENCE: 1-Sharks; 2-Blackhawks; 3-Flames; 4-Ducks; 5-Wings; 6-Preds; 7-Canucks; 8-Blues; 9-Wild; 10-Blue Jackets; 11-Oilers; 12-Kings; 13-Stars; 14-Avs; 15-Coyotes.

CONFERENCE TITLE: Flames over Ducks in 7.

STANLEY CUP: Bruins over Flames in 6.

The puck drops on the 2009-2010 season tomorrow evening at 7pm. We Leafs fans are never less fatalistic than right before opening night. After that, we are Nazem Kadri.

If democracy were a hockey team, what position would Hamas play?

If democracy were a hockey team, then Hamas would be the Bulgarian goalie who gave up 82 goals in one game.*

(Just go with me on this one...)

In an editorial commentary [ENGLISH] on the news site that is all but Hamas' official website - the Palestine Information Center - columnist Khalid Amayreh blasts the West Bank Fatah government's call for new, nationwide democratic elections as a "propagandist gambit" and a "sabotage" of democracy.

On the one hand, the article correctly cites various studies and sources which have concluded that Fatah elements backed by allies in the U.S. and Israel have conspired to foment civil unrest (if not all out war) ever since Hamas won the polls in the 2006 Palestinian elections. Mr. Amayreh calls the violent Hamas take-over of Gaza last summer a "counter-coup," arguing that:

"Fatah today remains the same Fatah that only reluctantly and under American pressure agreed to allow general elections to take place in 2006 and only because Fatah leaders seemed then certain they would win.

"However, when Hamas won the polls by a wide margin, Fatah couldn’t swallow the bitter bill and decided to embark on every conceivable act of sabotage in order to undercut Hamas and destabilize its rule. Some observers believe that Fatah took a secret decision to bring the would-be Hamas government down as soon as elections results were announced."

True, what happened after Hamas won the democratic elections of 2006 (and the fact that Hamas won is the surest sign of democracy in action) - the cinching of foreign aid, the polarization of Palestinian society, the bloody street battles between the factions - was certainly aided by Fatah's sore-losership.

But then again, the fact that Hamas participated in elections after erstwhile boycotting all Palestinian attempts at government smacks of political opportunism, not faith in democracy.

Mr. Amayreh also cites an overheard secret tape of the former Fatah strongman in Gaza, Mohammed Dahlan, telling comrades before the '06 election that he'll set Gaza "on fire" if Hamas wins.

Well that, too, is what happened. And it is no coincidence that, after more than a year of bloody skirmishes between Hamas and Fatah in Gaza, it was when Dahlan left for medical treatment in Egypt in June of '07 that Hamas went on the total offensive and overwhelmed Fatah troops in a matter of days, setting up what is basically a totalitarian "Hamastan" in the Gaza Strip.

None of this changes the fact that Hamas rightly won the elections in '06, nor does it change the probability that, should new elections actually happen now (if they even could happen fairly), and should Hamas win again, Fatah (and Israel, and the U.S.) would become even more desperate - perhaps more violent - in its attempt to crush Hamas and in the process take Palestine further away from peace and the end of the brutal Israeli occupation.

But what also must not be obscured is the fact that neither Hamas - nor Palestine partly because of Hamas - is operating as a democracy now. Yes, like that poor Bulgarian goalie, Hamas at least skated in the game. They are still skating occassionally: recently Hamas conducted a clandestine ballot to re-elect its Gaza leadership. But they aren't all-stars, much as they would have us believe.

And, as long as we're having fun with the hockey metaphor, if democracy were a hockey team, America would be Sean Avery, Israel would be Todd Bertuzzi's hit on Steve Moore, Sweden would certainly be Mats Sundin, and Iraq would be Jacque Plante's face. Canada would probably be Theoren Fleury. And Fatah would have to be Roy Keane.

* Actually, the Bulgarian starting goalie gave up 77 goals, then the backup let in the remaining 5 in the final 1 minute, 25 seconds.

Dubai ex-pat Hockey League laces up for new season

The Tuque Souq is primed and ready for another NHL season, and the crisp, cool October air filling the room at night has us dreaming of Luongo's butterfly, Phaneuf's crushing checks, Heatley's wrist shots and Kovalev's antics (yes, and even the Leafs).

The air must be similar over in the United Arab Emirates, because another season of the Dubai Mighty Camels - the common nickname for the UAE Ice Hockey League - is on its way soon.

The defending champs are the ECFT "Canadians" [that's their logo pictured] who took home last year's Dubai Mighty Camel Cup after an 18-5-1 season that saw them score a league-high 157 goals.

(ECFT stands for Emirates CAE Flight Training; CAE stands for Canadian Aviation Electronics, a Montreal company founded in 1947 that provides civilian and military flight training.)

ECFT captain Ron Murphy was surely the season MVP last year, leading all players with 61 goals and 58 assists. [Click here for full standings and stats from last season.]

The 7-"herd" league is made up of mostly Canadian and American ex-pats living in Dubai, which is also home to a recreational hockey club for ex-pats.

The Tuque Souq will keep you posted on the season.